By Alyssa K., Valery R. & Trinity T.
THE EASTER EGG HUNT GOT RESCHEDULED TO MARCH 28TH. ALL THINGS STATING 27TH ARE NOW FALSE.
Warning: The following program is satirical and should not be taken seriously. No pigs were harmed while filming.
Breaking News Today; It has been found that the infamous Bacon Mafia is now being terrorized by a rival gang and the public is unwillingly being dragged right in the middle of their gang violence.
The Bacon Mafia has been under investigation for many years after being involved in the underground pig fighting ring found at Middletown High Schools Ag Department. It’s speculated the National FFA Organization is conspiring with the group to participate in illegal activity.
And thanks to recent leads and interrogation the police have found out about an uprising gang calling themselves the ‘Middletown Beaks,’ who are actively trying to start a war within the groups.
This leads us to our public warning; It’s suspected the ‘Middletown Beaks’ are trying to make their name known by planting bombs disguised as plastic eggs during the March 28th FFA Easter egg hunt here on the Middletown Campus. Authorities don’t have enough evidence to shut the operation down, but I would be safe throughout the school day in case.
We were able to get a never before seen interview with Mrs. Ramos, a Middletown High School teacher and member of the FFA, however when confronted about her involvement she seems to avoid the subject. Here is that footage and more about the egg hunt
Welcome Ms.Ramos, are you affiliated with FFA?
“Yes I am I'm the advisor for the Middletown FFA club” Mrs. Ramos.
Do you know anything about the bacon mafia?
“I'm sorry i do not know anything about the bacon mafia at this time as FFA is a very professional organization and we don't not affiliate with any, what the word I'm looking for any criminal type organization like that” Mrs. Ramos
Do you know anything about the upcoming Easter egg hunt?
“Yes, we have a group of students that want to have an Easter egg hunt as our next meeting for FFA, so it's going to be at the farm so we’re going to have eggs hidden throughout on the main campus and then students who find an egg will have to bring it to the school farm to redeem their prize and we are actually going to have a golden egg with a really big prize attached to it. "
So the student that finds the person that is holding the golden egg and solves their riddle will have the chance to win the big prize.” Mrs. Ramos
Does that groups of students happen to have feathers and beaks?
“They tend to make clucking noises once in a while, we’re very concerned but they do them boo boo. You know they do what they like to, we support them which whatever avenue they like to do and some of our students very much love chickens” Mrs. Ramos
That seems pretty suspicious, so again I would be careful on the 28th.
On another related note, we are now coming to you live with a special interview from Puka the Pig. The former wife of John Pork, a very big name in the bacon mafia. Take it away Alyssa
Hello Middletown, we’re live with an interview with ex-mob wife Puka. Puka, what are your relations with the bacon mafia?
“Well I used to be married to this guy named John Pork and his father was the founder of the bacon mafia. Since I was his wife he had to listen to me so all his buddies did as well, cause I actually had some logic ya know. After he got arrested I broke it off though because I couldn’t deal with the prison visits and all.” Puka
What do you think of the so-called “chicken gang” in Middletown?
“Those posers are just wannabes. They don't know anything about real gang life. She screams profanities”
What's it like being a mob wife?
“You got to know how to keep a secret and there's things the public will never know. John pork hasn't been himself lately and after all i was his wife and loved him. The Mob life just isn't for everyone.”
Thank you Puka, your words were very insightful.
Well that’s all for today thank you for watching and stay tuned for more updates as they are released.
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